期末 2.2

飞逝！
是时间太快，还是我走得太慢？

离家求学已有三又二分之一个年头，
大学班也念了2.2个学期。

12年还有12天就落幕，
意味着我快进入第2.3个学期。

再飞逝！
对着那陪我熬夜的书桌，她似乎说：今晚放纵吧！
她不说话，但烙印在她脸上的“无相付出，所得无量”却是我接下来的动力。

有点委屈她说：抱歉了，我经常让你失望。
她似乎回应着：小的身上可以挨很多划，写吧，奋斗吧！

回顾2012的学期从1.3到2.2，我确实没把整副心思堆积在功课上。
我承认，我不会拿捏自己的感情，
可以说我感情用事，即便说我用情太深，我也罢了！
我的确把头栽得太快，脚确拔得太慢，
往往没站稳，还摔得更深，会痛啊~

对于没把书本遮掩她脸颊的日子，
我喜欢与她零距离，脸与脸的触碰，
那种不是让我脸红心跳的近距离，
而是让我心静念定的零分离。

发呆？
非也！
她听我说，听我诉苦，听我哈喇，
从来不眠不休。
我说她比男朋友更称职，她说其实她想要的是踏实。
喜欢我的忠心与不离不弃，任我摆布让她觉得有存在的价值和定义。

她不说，但我明了，
那种期望和寄托，我怎能舍得让她“忍辱负重”？
放纵的今天，除了赴自由的约定，
我也给她一个20年来不曾许下的承诺。

一个她与我一起规划的大蓝图，
她懂我懂的悄悄话。。。

其实我并非花心，只是对她很痴心

承先启后

是！拉曼大学文良港分院的佛学会，我来了。。。。。

29/6。。。2pm。。正式上任（秘书）

误打误撞来到常年大会，还朦朦胧胧被推选为秘书。。。

好吧，接受它，承担它。。。

感恩因缘和合，让我有机会再学习，再承担。。。

希望我们这新人一族能够有很多进步以及学习的机会。。。。

#DO good,

AVOID evil,

PURIFY your mind,

This is the buddha teaching#

degree!!

ONe week!!!

I was officially a degree student for a whole week already...

Well, it's not fun as what i thought...i mean the campus environment....can you imagine that we from the main campus no choice but have to switch to the branch campus..Which the compound is so small, hot, not condusive at all...

Well..some of the classes are boring as at the very beginning this is the 1st time i have to memorise those maths term and theory...1st time that my math is all start with those theory and fact which i have no choice but to memorise it....Hmmm...thinking that i should work harder as this is the 1st step to approach my target!!! ...It's not a dream man.....

Luckily that a group of us from the same foundation study course mate still can be together in this sem...old faces but fresh for me as last time we are not use to always together...

Avelyn, SiewHoay, Puiyee, Yeejie, HonHwa, Chinpang, Kachuen, Junyin as well...

all the best for you and for me !!!..

Aza Aza FIGHTING for our future...

We are FRIENDS and COMPETITORS as well...:)

3rd sem..you failed me!!!

In this the most important sem, i failed to archieve my target which my target is not really high...

Nvr so "lucky" even buy 4D also not so accurate and consistence...

I knew that I did well during exam and everything run so smooth,...yet the result is the worst in my life....

DOnt left me alone please!!!

I really need shoulder!!!!!

Im crying hysterically when writting this post!!!

4.29 end

火车到站了。

兴奋的是，今天我毕业了，从基础班毕业意味着我离我的人生目标又进了一步。

安慰的是，这一回都应该顺利及格，不会被留级。

懊恼的是，为何之前不考好一点，好让自己总算能够光辉毕业呢？

无所谓，再精进，再成长，我一定行！

大学，我来了！！

今天威廉王子告别单身了。。

撑。。承。。

再努力，撑多6星期。。

就有一个月的自由。。

然而，生物科，我喜欢但它的回报，总是我最大的致命伤。。。

不想让考试剥夺了我的青春，

只允让他成为调色盘上的其中一种颜色，在适当的时候渗入我生命的彩绘。

我不恨他，但是我很想爱上他。。

当初决定来到这里，其实早已有准备，这是一个在我18-19年以来另一种的考验。

而且是不停的考。。。

只是，他没那么简单，甚至超乎了我的想象，甚至他会偶尔让我来个措手不及。

或许，是我功夫不到，这点芝麻绿豆对于以前就很拼的朋友是喝开水般的简单。

但他对我而言，是个过程，是条必经之路，结果是种教育，成果是种肯定。

第一学期，猛撞得拿了给结果；

第二学期，细心得拿半个成果。。

但愿这最后的学期，能让我得到一颗甜美的果实。

至少足以让我填着舔足一个月吧。。。

有时，是我勇敢太久，还是他使我勇敢更久？

我不知道，也不想知道。。。

反正就是要承担自己的责任，自己的选择。。

因为有承，所以有撑；

因为有撑，所以再承。。。。

祝福自己，祝福所有朋友，加油！！

顺祝正在蜜月中的老爸老妈，

旅途平安，愉快。。。

emo-ing-

Whatever strike my mind now is about the Math test which just finished just now...

Nvr feel so stress and emo before..whole day..my mood swinging, heart crying without tears..

When stephen them came to find me..i laughed..i joked..to cover my sadness...anyway will do although anyway will not actually..

Sometimes i struggle....What FOR??? I made my days with tears and down mood...

Even i know the marks deducted is not much after convert into the percentage..The marks might be small case for others but for me is a big case..

Not I'm too particular for the marks.but pls....Maths is my pure subject..I want to score it...

I already failed to do my biology as I expect..and now..my math is totally out of my expectation....

As I know the coming chapter is not that easy that we thought and not that tough that we expected...UHhhhhh...

Clashed..GONE...even i cant do well in my 1st midterm...

How am i suppose to survive...

(dont worry me i just write to release my stress)

I will feel hurt in doing stupid mistakes in Math rather than I don't know anything in other subject..

WEll, well, well.....

This coming week is much more challenging for me....

physics, chemistry and programming concept which i keep blurred in this semester...

After walk out the exam hall today..i just noticed that the bad energy came cross me...

The feeling and the emotion during I undergo in Sem 1 came again..

Sem 2, is rush for me.but dont know why i handle it well..without staying up late.I manage to get what i expect..almost get....>.<

But this sem is totally rush..rush the time with a smooke screen..without knowing who who and what whate...OMG...

Week 5 end now..final is around the corner..

Migraine make me feel dizzy and not comfortable...bp increase..everynight night mare...

i scared that once i sleep and the next day i couldn't wake up early in the morning to study...

EMO now...

bless myself

金宝的公假

今天是公假，

没上课，昨天也不早睡，

室友约了我与友人，一同逛菜市。。

其实，只是要去吃早点。。

结果，我到了哪里却没胃口，只是喝了一杯美禄。。。

在大伙儿还未开餐前，便一个人走到菜市，东买一些，西买一些，也买了不少。。。

买了鱼丸，羊角豆，玉蜀心，豆腐，豆包，菇类。。。

外边的食物吃腻了，加上老妈子带给我的面线，米粉还有百米。。

嗯，这个星期都自己煮啦。。

清淡，简单，合我胃口。。。

昨天的生物测验，让我不怎么满意，庆幸不会“爆表”。。。

尤其看到，周围的人都能取高分时，自己难免会低落。。

好啦，要再打拼了。。。。

加油拉

cny in kampar

This week..im really busy for rushing back all my tutorial questions which I haven't attempt during the cny holiday and rushing for replacement and extra classes...As..midterm is around the corner..

Aww....

Today..having a night market walk with my brothers..yeah...how early we go to the night market..seems like I'm the one who bought the most..not much (actually is the bad weather not allow us to walk slowly and bought for more)..well, not much of stalls set up today..maybe they were still in cny mood too..

Caught in a sparingly heavily rain..but it stop after we reached Stephen's house...OMG...

Well, we have a great chat during our meal..and then our hands sudden felt itchy...

Ooops..It's gamble time...

Yeeppy...

The man who become the"jong" won a lot..

actually the whole gang of us just enjoy the moment together...purposely dont wanna go home and revise for a night..haha...

Oh right! Tomorrow i will be follow my parents going to KL (grandparents house)as this year we havent visit there...

It's time for me to hug my bear bear now...

nitez.....

laziness

Ooops..plz..go out from my life..

Actually Im not blaming about laziness as it's a type of self control...

Well, I found that I'm really felt into it in this 1st week of my 3rd trimester...

Such as today is the public holiday but I just manage to complete my tutorials question..supposed complete my revision for all 5 subjects but what to do..awww...feel tired now especially i open my Campbell ...haiz...

aiks..just can blame myself as I used to staying up late recently..At 1st i plan to enjoyed 1st then after my CNY mood gone then jz study..but sudden realize that ..this 2 weeks if I did not put in extra efforts means no holiday for me in CNY...

WHY I said so??

because the whole week of CNY(3rd week in my trimester) Im going to take my leave for going back my home sweet home...

Then, after that..Thursday of the 4th week I will be following my family to KL for the praying of 'tian gong'...while chatting with kat hao just now something came into my mind...Awwww...Week 5 is my 1st test....

**so if I do not start my revision now..during the CNY and after it I might be rushing everything at the last minute as a crazy rusher....huhuhu...

I do not want it happen on LOW YING FAN...

Well....as promise tonight flash my Campbell again and most probably tomorrow i can finish whole week revision and start the extra references...

Yup...I will be prepared as I do not want to be scold by someone like just now saying tat...you should start from now...

*Cant wait to back my hometown now...sigh..

result

Is result so important to us??

its important to prove our effort and show how our understanding on the certain fields but not for comparison...

Today...UTAR Portal again jam because of the release of the final result...

For me..a great improvement 3.7778 in GPA and 3.6297in CGPA...

actually it might not a greats improvement as the 1st sem Im undergoing the undershoot period..

which means the 1st sem Im getting the mark which it suppose not mine as not enough efforts and silly study manners...

Well.....i think i got improve in all subject jz except Thermodynamics and Electromagnetism remain A-...because the 2nd mid term test i have a great drop in this subject..

Everytime in such moment..many of my friends with laughter and some with tears..

Jz let it be as tomorrow is another bright future for us to strive it...

Wish good luck and cheers for those who are not satisfied with their result and Gratz to those who achieved their targets..

UTARians....its the time for us to strive again...

after the scene

Finally out sketch success to make ppl enjoy the whole 20 minutes..isn't??( i think so)

Really happy that our effort had been paid off.....

Since last Wednesday,7 of us were busying prepared the slides, audio system, sound effect, animation and oso our custom and props...fuyoh..seems like a huge project....

For others it might not be..but for us..it is...as maybe all of us lack of experience and we really want to make it perfect in every part and every scene.....especially their leader..(ME)...wakakka...

I couldn't deny that sometimes i really use to cannot tolerate with those who are not discipline in the process......although the sketch it's sound like a simple acting process..But i really hope all of us might gathered our strength and the spirit together..I want make it..Not like competition but at least it's our assignment....Who knows maybe this is our 1st and the last time for us to act with friends....

the process was really and absolutely complicated...dont wanna to speak about it.....

BUT finally we got the best performance since this two week in Miss Chan hand.....maybe others will be better than us in this coming week...but at least....we be the best before...

actually be the best or not is not so important for us..But at least...we have tried it before....

It's so amazing my friends....able to be impromptu in the sketch...add in some unexpected amazing scene.....(As the part we plan to make ppl laugh they did not but the normal part the audience laugh...how weird it is?)

Whatever ...It's finally come to another pit stop in my life and it's the time for me to study now....

Dear team mates.....appreciate the efforts and commitment and really sorry that i keep scolding some of you because of the sketch..you really let me to learn a lot from you all......

And also thanks for the supportive supporters for our team...as we never expect so many of you all come to support untill not enough audience seat and not enough standing place....

haha

after the scene

Finally out sketch success to make ppl enjoy the whole 20 minutes..isn't??( i think so)

Really happy that our effort had been paid off.....

Since last Wednesday,7 of us were busying prepared the slides, audio system, sound effect, animation and oso our custom and props...fuyoh..seems like a huge project....

For others it might not be..but for us..it is...as maybe all of us lack of experience and we really want to make it perfect in every part and every scene.....especially their leader..(ME)...wakakka...

I couldn't deny that sometimes i really use to cannot tolerate with those who are not discipline in the process......although the sketch it's sound like a simple acting process..But i really hope all of us might gathered our strength and the spirit together..I want make it..Not like competition but at least it's our assignment....Who knows maybe this is our 1st and the last time for us to act with friends....

the process was really and absolutely complicated...dont wanna to speak about it.....

BUT finally we got the best performance since this two week in Miss Chan hand.....maybe others will be better than us in this coming week...but at least....we be the best before...

actually be the best or not is not so important for us..But at least...we have tried it before....

It's so amazing my friends....able to be impromptu in the sketch...add in some unexpected amazing scene.....(As the part we plan to make ppl laugh they did not but the normal part the audience laugh...how weird it is?)

Whatever ...It's finally come to another pit stop in my life and it's the time for me to study now....

Dear team mates.....appreciate the efforts and commitment and really sorry that i keep scolding some of you because of the sketch..you really let me to learn a lot from you all......

And also thanks for the supportive supporters for our team...as we never expect so many of you all come to support untill not enough audience seat and not enough standing place....

haha

after the scene

Finally out sketch success to make ppl enjoy the whole 20 minutes..isn't??( i think so)

Really happy that our effort had been paid off.....

Since last Wednesday,7 of us were busying prepared the slides, audio system, sound effect, animation and oso our custom and props...fuyoh..seems like a huge project....

For others it might not be..but for us..it is...as maybe all of us lack of experience and we really want to make it perfect in every part and every scene.....especially their leader..(ME)...wakakka...

I couldn't deny that sometimes i really use to cannot tolerate with those who are not discipline in the process......although the sketch it's sound like a simple acting process..But i really hope all of us might gathered our strength and the spirit together..I want make it..Not like competition but at least it's our assignment....Who knows maybe this is our 1st and the last time for us to act with friends....

the process was really and absolutely complicated...dont wanna to speak about it.....

BUT finally we got the best performance since this two week in Miss Chan hand.....maybe others will be better than us in this coming week...but at least....we be the best before...

actually be the best or not is not so important for us..But at least...we have tried it before....

It's so amazing my friends....able to be impromptu in the sketch...add in some unexpected amazing scene.....(As the part we plan to make ppl laugh they did not but the normal part the audience laugh...how weird it is?)

Whatever ...It's finally come to another pit stop in my life and it's the time for me to study now....

Dear team mates.....appreciate the efforts and commitment and really sorry that i keep scolding some of you because of the sketch..you really let me to learn a lot from you all......

And also thanks for the supportive supporters for our team...as we never expect so many of you all come to support untill not enough audience seat and not enough standing place....

haha

another scene

Since tuesday..after the midterm test..my group (as i'm a leader)keep practise our EcS Sketch ass we gonna perform=present it on the coming monday...oh ya man....damn fast...

Well, i dunno where my bad tempered be...its sound good as i manage to control it well....

I really learn a lot from my member...especially my great assistant YQ.....

I oso really love my cute cute zheng as she is really a fantastic member.....

Oso not forget YZ, YX,Ps....and a quite headache person CP as he really dunno how to act,how to sing and how to dance....Not im looking down upon him but he is that kind of !^#&)#$)@($as he cant really accept ppl advise.....MAN, not solo show you know!!!....

Luckily i got manage my mood today...When i talk to them i almost burst into my tears as i really wish all of us get the best performance.....I wnt it and im sure you all wnt it too....

Another scene from the sketch is now im sitting infront my lappy and as just complete all the props..

tired man...nites

rainny thursday

Im not that kinda of emo..just feel want to write whatever in my deep heart core...

I know that i haven't finish my exam and study is not only for exam...

Revising and revising ...it's just a cycle...It's shouldn't be stop...

(At last we will just find that the circle become larger and larger..endless till the end of our life)

Today i wish to share about few things...

1) My lecturers...

1stly will talk abt my thermodynamics practical lecturer, mr LEE.....

The 1st day i met him was on my 1st trimester chemistry test, he was one of the examiner..

The 2nd time i met him was the 1st practical session in this trimester..

1st impression..he's that kind of knowledgeable in this field..

2nd impression..he's so strict( he wanted us to summit every report on the spot..Either full or or partial.....) * none of us like this method right??

Its already 6th week of our 2nd trimester as everyone stopped blaming and started to adapt

in his practical session...We learned the way to generate all the idea for our discussion,

learned all the ways to conduct the experiment precisely and consistence..

"....so, today is my last day with you all..."

"..shhhs,....why?...when..how??...."

"you all like me meh?....however, thanks for your coorperation.."

"sir, we just adapted ourself..."

"K, tidy up your things so that we can close the lab..."

( the last phrase that mr lee spoken yesterday)

Sudden feel complicated.......we lose to get info under a good lecture....

2ndly,Ms Chan..My ECS Tutor...

This morning i purposely met her to propose my idea of changing the new topic for my

presentation, But she not allow me to do so....

After convincing and bargained for a long time at campus and sending email...

She still not allow me to do so but im quite satisfy to have a such understood lecturer.

Even i know that i have to put in more efforts for my presentation...(The topic still the same ...)But im that kind of on the moon now...ahha

2) My ECS speech...

Im not kinda of proud but today i wnt proud to be myself....(anyway. i dont like to live under others ppl)

I managed to finish my outline in 2 hours time..yeah..and im goinng to have my speech outline today...(i means the script)

HOPEFULLy i can success to become the best presenter....As promise to Miss Chan..I wont let her disappointed....

3) MY 1st midterm...

It's almost finish just left one paper on monday...

Let me have a review on it....

Math test...29 out of 30....simply lose one mark as i didnt label the end point in my graph..

Bio...result not yet out but js hope it will kinda of satisfactory grade for me as i know that most of the people lose 6 marks because of answering the question without logical thinking...(included me)

Chemistry test....Gosh...stupid for mistake on naming the hydrocarbon...(don;t even want to know im tat kind of careless or not well prepared) By right i should strive more..

Thermodynamics...Gosh again for wrongly put the substances which is heat absorber in the calculation of hear releasor...stupid....( i detect my answer not logic on the spot but cant detect the mistake.Just that moment when i opened the examination hall door..."ting!!!" it;s come to brain but its too late..)

FINAL conclusion...

LOW YING FAN...

YOU ARE NOT WELL PREPARED

tough 2nd sem

It's has been the 6 weeks of 2nd trmister I stayed in Kampar , striving hard for my 2nd trimester..

It's totally different again!!

I found that i m still able to cope up the syllabus but the question is not that simple as i thought before..

I can't be very sure that whether I have maximize my efforts or none..

But i just know that since the 2nd trimester I even take a big rest in a day....

Today (yesterday since now is edy 1 am) I've just complete all the main subject mid term test ..

At 1st I planned to complete my Mathematics tutorial BUT i failed it..

(I‘m not kinda of lazy girl)

Just sudden feel that i have to complete my public speaking speech outline 1st as I planned to seek for Ms Chan advise tomorrow....

I hope that, really hope that she allow me to change my topic tomorrow as the previous topic failed to make me have the determination to continue it...

If so and so i will fail to get my audiences attention during my presentation...

Although the latest topic that I planned to share is quite a normal, common, formal topic...

But i really wish to share this( The ways of being a success and happy teen-.....)

the..... stand for something surprise that i have to 1st get permission from my tutor 1st...

Whatever, whenever...

Its a real tough period for me now...

I just can;t wait for next Wednesday to go back my hometown to meet all my belovesssssssssssssss...........

hahahah....

Well, it;s time to bed as tomorrow have to attend 8am lecture (just for extra , pretending hardworking huh>.<)

OBSTACLES

I know that and everyone know that's obstacles in diff stages in our whole life span...
But recently im kind of emo and hate with it...At 1st i was trying hard to accept it but i failed it..

Last sem i felt down once and i swear to climb up again..i swear and i really strive for this sem so hard...

Unpredictable...almost all of my lectures are so good..(good in state of explaining and teaching)
I thought i can score as high as i can in this sem..but it so so so...complicated.......

All of my sciences practical tutor are strict enough, they are famous in strict marking the reports..Is it fair to all of us??
absolutely no....
especially today i have attended my thermodynamics practical session....i hate it so much...
It's not only our class do the partial reports in group but it's almost all...so, this is nothing to be proud with or happy with..

WTH....we have to pass up all the full reports on the spot..@&#$^Z*^%^@#&%

Is it fair to us, i know it's a good way of training us..but..it totally not fair...
Others ppl can even complete their reports within one week and refer to a lot of research sources and even seek for some senior or lecturers advice...BUT how about us...
We even can;t refer and you think it is possible for us to get high marks within an hour???

NONO, i don't think so.....
We have to complete our experiment in that 2 hours session initially, but now...
Actually a student know how to calculate it...
A complicated experiment need almost an hour to complete it
So, it's just left an hour for us to analysis all the data, graph drawing, calculation and even discussion...
How if we get the negative result?? We even do not have much time to redo the experiment...

If and only IF we follow the track to finish the report..we might get about 14 marks while others can get 19 marks...
is it fair for us....
not fair...

We thought the report as course mark will aided us to get higher achievement in final,
but it;s absolutely wrong after the 1st sem i know that the reports mark will be pulled now if it is too high, and i have experienced it in my physical chemistry..
this time again another for thermodynamics...

Im totally exhausted with this kind of marking style without synchorization............

homesick

I dont ever know what should i do or when should i do...
Anything..
A weird feel sudden appear in my deep heart core...
Mom even asked me just now,"what happen to you?? No study mood??"
"still got gastric pain? still got feel like want to faint??"

Yeah..that's my mommy..great..i miss her badly and soundly...huh??>.<

This will be 2nd week in 2nd semester in UTAR. Seems everyone knew that a busy life will start by tomorrow....(see, see, how is the UTAr impression to all students)

YUP..I'm seriously homesick now, I planned to back my hometown during Deepavali festival..
Deepavali on 5th Nov (friday)
I plan to replace all my Thursday class (not much..just 2 class)hahahas....
I wish to back on wednesday after my class...

BUT, now i wish

...........................................................
.....................................................
........................................
................................
..................
......
...
.
There will be NONONONON EXAM on wednesday and thursday.
hopefully my wish comes true..

My HOMESICK!!! getting worse especially yesterday the migraine visited me again..huh..
make me tired, dizzy and want to faint...


daddy, mommy, ahma, ah yuan and b, and oso minyen, ee thong..
i miss you all

diaries in my sem break (continued)

16TH
early in the morning, eethong, wanjoe and me decided to have a meet on breakfast time at 88.
Its a long long time that 3 of us nvr meet up together after spm.
Then we plan to have a short visit to GBA..When we reached there, MR king leong persuaded us to join the emo controlled talk...we just join for an hour as all of us have to rush back to complete our own task....
evening,
dad and mom fetch me to butterworth to buy a pair of long pants for me and purposely go for the nice curry mee as our dinner..not bad..but mom claimed that Alor Setar nicer...

17TH
Finally my dear promised to go sp with me..actually it's our class gathering but he can join too..hahhaa
evening its a tough period for me, shiying and yuanjie as we are busy planned for those who sudden plan to join us and those without transport...
night,
we have our gathering at Eternal Zone ,SP......
I feel great that i can spent a lot of time with my dear and also old classmate especially my best buddies, minyen and sinyi..
We also not missed out the chance to celebrate yuanjie bday.....
what a lovely couple when i saw him and chiahooi..hope that sweet sweet forever.....

around 11.30 we plan to go village mall....decided whether for movie or kbox...
but both plan failed as the kbox systems really bad enough..haha....
at least i got my dear to accompany me...ahha

reach home about 12.15am..its time to sleep

18th
gosh....whole day suffer from stomach ache ...nvr feel such pain before...
mom and dad seriously worried about me , my dear too...
they knew that im going back to kampar soon and so worried about my health ...
after seek for the doctor take the medicine i felt better.
the worse is after a nap i suffered from fever again...
gosh....at 1st today supposed shopping day for me.......

19th
busy packing my stuff now.....
tmr will be going back to kampar....

i miss my family and friends...
i miss you dear....
其实不想走，其实我想留